serialmurderbot (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
serialmurderbot) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
route666radio2025-03-02 08:32 am
serialmurderbot) wrote in route666radio2025-03-02 08:32 am
[TEXT]
NICE SUGGESTIONS TO NOT FUCKING DIE
[Thanks for the name suggestion Arcade; SecUnit clearly didn't take to heart any of the other parts about not being able to tell people what to do.]
1. Never leave the Convoy [Convoy defined as the main trailers plus the radius of the shield and additional vehicles, approximately 80 meters] alone. Survey and scavenging groups should consist of at least 2 members.
2. When leaving the Convoy always inform someone outside of your party of your intended itinerary and duration of travel.
3. Perform regular check-ins during the excursion [ideally every 15 minutes] via the radio.
4. Bring a method of defense that you have training and certification in. This should be used as a LAST RESORT, if unable to avoid aggressive wildlife. Call for backup before engaging.
5. In an emergency situation safety of survey personnel is priority one. Abandon all equipment if necessary. Yes, even if that means the aggressive fauna will destroy it. Or eat it.
6. Never operate a vehicle or weapon while any of the following: Intoxicated, sleep-deprived, distracted, experiencing physical illnesses such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, blood loss, etc.
7. Do not consume or touch unfamiliar plants or other food items without first confirming their safety for human ingestion. Licking counts as consuming.
8. Don't startle your SecUnit.
[Thanks for the name suggestion Arcade; SecUnit clearly didn't take to heart any of the other parts about not being able to tell people what to do.]
1. Never leave the Convoy [Convoy defined as the main trailers plus the radius of the shield and additional vehicles, approximately 80 meters] alone. Survey and scavenging groups should consist of at least 2 members.
2. When leaving the Convoy always inform someone outside of your party of your intended itinerary and duration of travel.
3. Perform regular check-ins during the excursion [ideally every 15 minutes] via the radio.
4. Bring a method of defense that you have training and certification in. This should be used as a LAST RESORT, if unable to avoid aggressive wildlife. Call for backup before engaging.
5. In an emergency situation safety of survey personnel is priority one. Abandon all equipment if necessary. Yes, even if that means the aggressive fauna will destroy it. Or eat it.
6. Never operate a vehicle or weapon while any of the following: Intoxicated, sleep-deprived, distracted, experiencing physical illnesses such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, blood loss, etc.
7. Do not consume or touch unfamiliar plants or other food items without first confirming their safety for human ingestion. Licking counts as consuming.
8. Don't startle your SecUnit.
no subject
Why?
no subject
[Obviously. It's helping.]
no subject
A response doesn't come until Roger's set himself up at the bar, several minutes later. He's standing behind it, with a blaster pistol, a prototype weapon that he's made using a bear trap and parts from a chromehound, and a hammer all set on the counter.]
Designation: R0-GR
Current location: The Hubcap.
no subject
Confirmed. ETA 2 minutes.
[True to its word, SecUnit takes two minutes on the dot to shoulder through the door to the hubcap.
For a big scary murder monster, it looks... surprisingly human. Sure, it's wearing a motorcycle helmet indoors, which adds a bit of air of menace, but it's wearing a casual jacket with one sleeve shredded from the elbow, revealing an arm that looks more organic than mechanical underneath, despite the bits of metal and the telltale lines segmenting out its arms and hand. It certainly doesn't move like any bot Roger might be familiar with.
It also, the moment it steps into the room and sees a fucking gun on the counter, jerks forward into surprisingly fast motion to grab it away]
no subject
Fortunately for Roger, the blaster is entirely useless to him anyway. Literally, it's an empty threat. So while the SecUnit's making its dash for the blaster, Roger slides the hammer back onto the floor behind the bar and grabs the experimental metal mouth weapon. He takes cover behind the bar, putting his back to it, gripping the weapon for dear life.]
I don't want to fight!
[All the while, Roger uses the antenna on his back to directly send a message to Shadow the Hedgehog's communicator, without any visible indication that he is doing so.]
SHADOW I ACCIDENTALLY STARTED A FIGHT WITH THE SECUNIT IN THE HUBCAP PLEASE HELP
no subject
The bad thing about calling Shadow for help is that he won't ask clarifying questions even when he really should.
There's not response to Roger's message—not over the comms, at least. Instead a black and red blur rockets into the Hubcap, and then Shadow is sliding across the bartop. He lurches to a stop in between the two robots; he's not human, but it should be easy to read the aggression in his tense posture and the backwards tilt of his ears.
Fortunately, he does not immediately throw himself at SecUnit. He still glowers at it, though, and orange-red electric energy crackles over his quills. ]
no subject
[SecUnit is in the process of checking the weapon over as it says this, grimly incredulous - either this isn't a combat bot at all, or this is the most overprepared combat bot it's ever met -
and the gun is dead.]
Are you fucking joking.
[Its voice reads flat, exasperated, as it keeps the gun in one hand - until it hears the sudden thud of approaching feet, way too fucking fast. It jerks back, bracing for some kind of impact because its performance reliability is so far shot by whatever malfunction is reducing its reflex speed.
When Shadow comes to a stop on the countertop, SecUnit has ducked back behind one of the tables, a good two meters off from the bar, the empty gun tossed somewhere behind it and one forearm raised, energy weapon not yet primed to fire.
Mostly because it's taking in the clearly non-human shape and trying to recalculate its odds.]
Drop the weapon.
no subject
It was supposed to keep you from trying to kill me as soon as you got here! And I'm still not sure you're not going to do that!
[The worry that led to him bringing it in the first place is only intensified now. So he just slumps further behind the cover of the bar, hands still ready on the weapon.]
no subject
[ Shadow doesn't have a weapon to drop, and he's guessing that whatever weapon SecUnit does have isn't one that it can actually drop. But the point still stands! Shadow's not going to stand down first. ]
Roger. If you don't want a fight, then leave while you can.
no subject
Stalemate - there's no fucking way it's about to drop that arm, though. Realistically it should be trying to de-escalate, but it's angry about this. It doesn't expect people to be nice to it, but that doesn't mean it's happy about being treated like a dangerous weapon again, and that bleeds through in its retort.]
If I was going to kill you I wouldn't have given you an ETA.
no subject
That... makes sense. [He sets the jaw weapon onto the ground and slowly rises out from the bar with his hands raised.]
no subject
Roger.
[ Shadow hasn't dropped his guard just yet, but his tone is now flat instead of aggressive. ]
Why did you think a fight was about to start?
no subject
It doesn't bother repeating Shadow's question, because that's the same one it would have asked. If it didn't think that just walking away would be seen as a chance to get it in the back.
As the two wait for the bot's response, SecUnit practically radiates angry disapproval.]
no subject
He directs his answer to Shadow's question to the SecUnit.] You said startling you was dangerous, and then you asked where I was. And then you came in and immediately got startled. So I thought I was in danger.
[Of course, it should have been obvious that bringing weapons would be startling, but he certainly didn't trust the SecUnit enough to leave them behind. Even so, their only effective use would be a deterrent. The cobbled-together experimental weapon was unreliable, the blaster was empty, and the small melee weapon wouldn't be that useful in his hands.]
... I panicked.
no subject
He doesn't look happy. ]
When you called me like that I thought you were actually in trouble.
no subject
[Okay, so in retrospect: probably could have handled that better. On the other side of the equation, though - a fucking gun.]
You're a combat bot and you panicked. And called a - [Not a human, actually, it's not sure what Shadow is. And it really knows that asking would probably be rude.] A friend to handle it instead.
no subject
I probably shouldn't have told you I ever was one. [In a world where no one's ever heard of the Clone Wars, he doubts anyone would know if he didn't tell them, but it's for that same reason that he thought it wouldn't matter.]
[Shadow's disappointment, though, is almost as crushing as the mortal terror that drove him to call him in the first place.] I... thought I was too.
no subject
Shadow crosses his arms in the wake of Roger's explanation. He's not actually trying to make Roger feel bad, but... yeah, he's frustrated. ]
If I had attacked without thinking I could have really hurt it—
[ Here, he gestures to SecUnit. ]
—or we could have ended up hurting someone else in the crossfire.
[ Shadow has a lot of confidence in his own power and skill, but SecUnit's arm guns and its apparent confidence with them isn't lost on him. He thinks 'big messy fight with lots of collateral damage' is a lot more likely than either of them getting the jump on the other. ]
... You can still call me for help. But if you say you 'started a fight', it sounds like you're already being attacked.
no subject
[Of all the things to pick out of this conversation, the implication that it might accidentally hurt someone is not the most important, but that doesn't stop SecUnit from focusing on that, offense in its voice.
But it's starting to move past anger-adrenaline-offense and into exhaustion-offense, and the bickering of these two is remind it of the most pathetic bot it ever met. The one that was just... built to be some human's friend. Which is stupid, because even cheaply made a combat bot is a combat bot, but Roger's processing capacity sure seems like a high-level bot like Miki.
SecUnit considers its options for deescalating the tension further and finally reaches up, pulling off the motorcycle helmet it's been wearing to reveal the human face beneath. There, see, now it doesn't look like a scary faceless combat bot either. It looks like a human.]