[TEXT]

[serialmurderbot]

NICE SUGGESTIONS TO NOT FUCKING DIE

[Thanks for the name suggestion Arcade; SecUnit clearly didn't take to heart any of the other parts about not being able to tell people what to do.]

1. Never leave the Convoy [Convoy defined as the main trailers plus the radius of the shield and additional vehicles, approximately 80 meters] alone. Survey and scavenging groups should consist of at least 2 members.

2. When leaving the Convoy always inform someone outside of your party of your intended itinerary and duration of travel.

3. Perform regular check-ins during the excursion [ideally every 15 minutes] via the radio.

4. Bring a method of defense that you have training and certification in. This should be used as a LAST RESORT, if unable to avoid aggressive wildlife. Call for backup before engaging.

5. In an emergency situation safety of survey personnel is priority one. Abandon all equipment if necessary. Yes, even if that means the aggressive fauna will destroy it. Or eat it.

6. Never operate a vehicle or weapon while any of the following: Intoxicated, sleep-deprived, distracted, experiencing physical illnesses such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, blood loss, etc.

7. Do not consume or touch unfamiliar plants or other food items without first confirming their safety for human ingestion. Licking counts as consuming.

8. Don't startle your SecUnit.

Comments

[thelastb1]

[Roger's hands stay raised in surrender, but lower somewhat to be in front of his face in a more defensive posture. He slinks back a few steps.

He directs his answer to Shadow's question to the SecUnit.] You said startling you was dangerous, and then you asked where I was. And then you came in and immediately got startled. So I thought I was in danger.

[Of course, it should have been obvious that bringing weapons would be startling, but he certainly didn't trust the SecUnit enough to leave them behind. Even so, their only effective use would be a deterrent. The cobbled-together experimental weapon was unreliable, the blaster was empty, and the small melee weapon wouldn't be that useful in his hands.]

... I panicked.

[airskate]

[ Shadow's not really sure what he was expecting, but this is closer to it than he would have liked. SecUnit has lowered it's weapons, so Shadow finally relaxes as well. The red-orange energy finally stops crackling over his fur and he looks away from SecUnit entirely, turning to face Roger.

He doesn't look happy. ]

When you called me like that I thought you were actually in trouble.

[serialmurderbot]

[It's hard to see a reaction on SecUnit between the motorcycle helmet and the jacket, but the way it moves its head, just minutely, might just indicate that it looks ready to walk out. Or maybe slam its head against a door, just for fun. Great, this is just great.]

[Okay, so in retrospect: probably could have handled that better. On the other side of the equation, though - a fucking gun.]

You're a combat bot and you panicked. And called a - [Not a human, actually, it's not sure what Shadow is. And it really knows that asking would probably be rude.] A friend to handle it instead.

[thelastb1]

I'm made for swarm tactics, not this! [That is to say that he's a very cheaply made "combat bot."] And I haven't really been a battle droid for ages!

I probably shouldn't have told you I ever was one. [In a world where no one's ever heard of the Clone Wars, he doubts anyone would know if he didn't tell them, but it's for that same reason that he thought it wouldn't matter.]

[Shadow's disappointment, though, is almost as crushing as the mortal terror that drove him to call him in the first place.] I... thought I was too.

[airskate]

[ Ugh.

Shadow crosses his arms in the wake of Roger's explanation. He's not actually trying to make Roger feel bad, but... yeah, he's frustrated. ]

If I had attacked without thinking I could have really hurt it—

[ Here, he gestures to SecUnit. ]

—or we could have ended up hurting someone else in the crossfire.

[ Shadow has a lot of confidence in his own power and skill, but SecUnit's arm guns and its apparent confidence with them isn't lost on him. He thinks 'big messy fight with lots of collateral damage' is a lot more likely than either of them getting the jump on the other. ]

... You can still call me for help. But if you say you 'started a fight', it sounds like you're already being attacked.

[serialmurderbot]

You might have.

[Of all the things to pick out of this conversation, the implication that it might accidentally hurt someone is not the most important, but that doesn't stop SecUnit from focusing on that, offense in its voice.

But it's starting to move past anger-adrenaline-offense and into exhaustion-offense, and the bickering of these two is remind it of the most pathetic bot it ever met. The one that was just... built to be some human's friend. Which is stupid, because even cheaply made a combat bot is a combat bot, but Roger's processing capacity sure seems like a high-level bot like Miki.

SecUnit considers its options for deescalating the tension further and finally reaches up, pulling off the motorcycle helmet it's been wearing to reveal the human face beneath. There, see, now it doesn't look like a scary faceless combat bot either. It looks like a human.]