route666radio | [Audio, first evening parked by the river]

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[Audio, first evening parked by the river]

Okay, uh, people should probably not try to go swimming in the river. Just to warn you.

[She makes an annoyed noise.]

I turned into a fish person. Like I have gills now and webbed feet and it's awful. So just, you know, be careful and don't just jump in like an idiot.

[Like she did. She adds, mostly in a mutter, but still broadcasting,]

The plants said as much and I didn't listen. They warned me not to put my roots too deep. Ugh. So stupid.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Sounds like it wasn't the fin-tastic time you were hoping for.

[Sorry.]

Oh my god, Leo.

[She's trying not to laugh. She really is.]

I turned into a fish person and you're going to make puns about it?

Sorry. Is this a low tide in your life?

[He’s thinking he can get that laugh out of her.]

You are terrible.

[Not quite, but it's clearly close in her voice.]

It's not funny!

You’re right, you’re right - it’s not finny at all.

[One more for good measure.]

Can you at least get back out of the river?

[She makes a strangled sound that's close to a laugh.]

Yeah, I'm out. It didn't try to keep me in or anything. I'm in my car now.

[Which is where she'd left her radio.]

Hey, that’s good. Now we don’t have to drive you around in a massive tank or something.

[Like he and Natsuhi had been talking about before.]

I’m already an aquatic turtle… I’m kinda curious about what the river would do to me, hah.

Yeah, I could have an actual fish tail and have to either swim to follow everyone, or just... sit in the back of someone else's car while they drive.

Anyway, I'm just saying, if you want to go and try it out, I'm not stopping you, but you might not like what happens.

See? Every fish has a silver scale.

I'll stay dry for now, but if you see me later with some new additions you'll know what happened.

And I'll know to tell you I told you so.

[Then, slightly more seriously:]

You're doing okay, right? Not being turned into a fish person and all.

[Augh no, he never likes it when serious voice is turned on him.]

Yeah, same turtle as ever. Are you alright besides the whole fish person thing?

[Sorry, dude, Jolie is occasionally serious.]

I was a little freaked out when it happened, but I'm okay now, yeah.

Cool. Well, let me know if you need anything, like... a fishbowl, or something.

Imagine me sticking my tongue out at you right now. Because that's definitely what I'm doing.

[And she makes a noise like she's a five year old doing exactly that.]

[Leo laughs and makes his own five-year-old tongue-sticking-out noise from his side of the line.]

...can you get out? Or are you stuck in there?

I'm okay. The water didn't like... hold me down or anything. It did take me a little bit to work out how to breathe in the air again, though.

Oh, that's good. I know some people got tails but I don't know if they all split into legs again or not.

I still have legs. They just have fins and scales on them and my toes are webbed and have like, claws on them? They don't fit in my shoes anymore.

Oh, huh.

I got a tail but when I tried to go back to land it turned into legs again. Just...not really my legs. I have hooves. This whole thing is messed up.

Oh geez. You got changed, too, huh?

[There's sympathy there. Though also bafflement, because:]

Hooves aren't really a water-creature thing. And aren't you normally more, uh, dog-ish?

Yeah...most months I seem to get something different.

...y-yeah. Horse is new and I don't really get why it goes with this water but whatever.

This place is so weird and stupid, I swear.

Can you walk okay? On the hooves.

Yeah...I had hooves a few months back so it wasn't hard to get used to them again. I just wish I wouldn't have to keep doing that

I wouldn't want to keep doing that, either. I wonder why it's happening now... what made it happen last time?

I think it must be something about the water, since we're being changed to fit it. I'm not really sure, though...I don't know why it happened last month. A few months ago getting pricked by thorns made us change but it usually isn't obvious. Magic bullshit or something I guess.

Everything around here is magic crap.

[Yes, she censored herself. Shut up. It does come with a heavy sigh, though.]

Maybe going back in the water will change us back. I should try that.

You mean back to normal?

[Or what normal passes for here.]

I don't think so. It might make you change more, or it might not do anything but no way it'll let us change back so quickly and easily.

Hang on, the plants told you?

Yeah, the plants talk. Or they talk to me, anyway, I don't know if anyone else has heard them.

I swear I'm not crazy. It's a power... thing. Like you growing wings.

Man, I want to talk to plants. That sounds cooler than getting bird feet. Then maybe they could warn me about when things go weird before you touch them or something...

[She sounds a little embarrassed at the envy.]

It's not really that helpful. A lot of the time I don't actually know what they mean until after something happens.

Though I did keep some hungry plants from trying to eat me and Zach once. That was kinda cool.

Well...I guess that'd make sense. Talking to plants doesn't necessarily mean understanding them. They probably don't think exactly like we do.

-that sounds useful though. I've already heard that a tree tried to eat my brother before and as a botany enthusiast I am very disappointed about the local flora seeming to be all intent on devouring us or causing us trouble somehow or another.

Not all of them! Just some of them. The tree vines and the thorns, but I think thorns don't mean to hurt it's just kind of built into them, you know?

Most of them don't really understand us, either.

[There's a pause, and then,]

If you ever want to know what they're saying, you can ask.

That is a fair point. -no pun intended.

And I guess that is also true. Sentient beings barely understand each other as it is.

[Being told he can just ask if he wants to know something is almost a novelty, given he's usually the one giving the answers if not seeking them out himself. It almost takes him a moment to soak that in.]

Cool. I'll do that, the next time I come across some curious flora.

[She gives a little giggle at the unintended pun. Leo primed her for it, sorry Donnie.]

I try to listen to all the plants when we start into a new... area, I guess. Whenever things change.

[Hey, he'll take it, oblivious to the fact that she actually thinks Leo's puns are funny.]

Sounds like a good practice there. Especially given what little information we're given ahead of time going into these places.

Maybe if I talk about it with someone before anybody does anything stupid like I just did, we can work out what it means in time for it to help.

[She sounds a little sour, admittedly.]

It could help, especially if it's like deciphering a riddle or something. You can always ask me, if you want.

It's more like trying to figure out context that we don't have yet. But maybe I'll do that. Two people trying to think out what something might mean is always going to better than one.

What if we cross-referenced between plants in a given area? More data is always better.

Well, sure. Um, the place with all the thorns talked a lot about change, which made sense once getting cut by them made people and animals change... The sages in the valley last month liked our dreams. And wanted us to join them. It was a little creepy, actually.

These plants are a lot less creepy. They're practically nice, actually.

Ugh. The sages must be some kind of sadists.

Nice is good, if plants can be of one thing or another, I'm sure they don't inherently think ill will towards things.

There were some vines during that last moon warp that definitely had ill will towards us. But none of the other ones have seemed to. The plants here are the only ones that have seemed like they were, I don't know, purposefully trying to be helpful, though.

Oh. Well. That's...lovely. [No, it is not, this is terrible, he hates this.]

Maybe it's because they're thriving here and have no reason to be bitter about random people?

I don't think most of the others were bitter exactly. The vines just wanted to eat us, and the rest I think wanted us for their own reasons, too.

Maybe it's because the ones here don't have any specific magic to them? Like they're not changing us in any way. That's the water.

I really hate that the most normal things are the things that potentially threaten to change us around here.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Audio, first evening parked by the river]

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