[TEXT]

[serialmurderbot]

NICE SUGGESTIONS TO NOT FUCKING DIE

[Thanks for the name suggestion Arcade; SecUnit clearly didn't take to heart any of the other parts about not being able to tell people what to do.]

1. Never leave the Convoy [Convoy defined as the main trailers plus the radius of the shield and additional vehicles, approximately 80 meters] alone. Survey and scavenging groups should consist of at least 2 members.

2. When leaving the Convoy always inform someone outside of your party of your intended itinerary and duration of travel.

3. Perform regular check-ins during the excursion [ideally every 15 minutes] via the radio.

4. Bring a method of defense that you have training and certification in. This should be used as a LAST RESORT, if unable to avoid aggressive wildlife. Call for backup before engaging.

5. In an emergency situation safety of survey personnel is priority one. Abandon all equipment if necessary. Yes, even if that means the aggressive fauna will destroy it. Or eat it.

6. Never operate a vehicle or weapon while any of the following: Intoxicated, sleep-deprived, distracted, experiencing physical illnesses such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, blood loss, etc.

7. Do not consume or touch unfamiliar plants or other food items without first confirming their safety for human ingestion. Licking counts as consuming.

8. Don't startle your SecUnit.

Comments

text;

[faceguy]

certification?

[Is he asking because he doesn't know where to get certification, or because he doesn't even know what that word means? Guess we'll find out!]

[wereperrito]

Security Unit then okay.

[He gives that a little pause.]

is that you?

[It would explain the plastic and electricity smell, he thinks.]

text

[thelastb1]

Questions:

1. Is up-to-date weapons certification necessary if one of us happens to be programmed and designed for field combat?

2. Do separated components of survey personnel count as equipment, survey personnel, or do they have a separate ranking in priority, assuming the parts are still operational can be repaired? [Important note: Part in question may still send pain signals.]

3. Is touching unfamiliar food items permissible if one of us cannot be affected by toxins due to being an inorganic form of life?

4. WHAT THE KRIFF IS A SECUNIT AND HOW DO I KNOW IF I'M STARTLING ONE? [Important note: Highest priority question.]

P.S.: Great suggestions, very excited to hopefully not die.

[serialmurderbot]

[That sounds... dubious, but given who it's sure this is (the relatively young human with the gun and the insistence he didn't need medical attention) it's not surprising to see his insistence on fighting.]

Being trained for combat and being trained for handling hostile fauna or client retrieval in a high-stakes situation are different things.

[But, begrudgingly;]

But the first one isn't useless.

[serialmurderbot]

No, it's the other one with guns in its arms.

[Sarcastic responses don't actually seem to build rapport here, though, so... it grimaces and adds,]

Yeah, it's me.

[serialmurderbot]

[SecUnit is sure going to assume the second!]

If you have completed a registered program in any of the following; Combat, Wilderness survival, Surveying, Firearms handling, Emergency response, Disaster first response, Defensive strategy, Wildlife management or equivalent trainings, you may be considered certified.

[serialmurderbot]

[... Huh. Is this a bot? It didn't think there were bots here.

Is this a Combat Bot talking? Casually? Like a human? SecUnit has to pause in answering in its chosen room in the Convoy, because Threat Assessment just spiked and flooded it with anxiety. It steps out of the room, starting a patrol of the length of the trailer and using its clunky phone to... answer. The combat bot. Maybe a Combat SecUnit? (Actually that's worse)]

1. Performing intended function does not require additional certification assuming necessary modules are still intact.

2. Components required for continued functioning of all survey personnel are considered survey personnel and first priority for retrieval. Non-essential components are not equipment but are secondary priority after continued survival.

3. Depends on the possibility for cross-contamination.

4. It's a construct.

[faceguy]

[Leo doesn’t even have a birth certificate, much less any of that.]

I did todd scout training

[flowersnjunk]

lucky for me, I am very good at my job!

[Your implication is noted and disregarded.]

[constantvrunning]

Not when it's enforced, definitely. Some people work better alone than others, but being without a team entirely, especially in an environment like this, would be

[Wrong.]

Distressing.

[taediosum]

How about aloe? More or less safe to eat, though I'm not sure you'd want to - and a great way to treat burns.

[wereperrito]

[Well, that solves the potential question of pronouns, as well. Jack will remember that.]

is that what you want to be called? as a name?

[Just so they're clear. He does clearly recall SecUnit not giving a name when they first met.]

[thelastb1]

Great answers overall! Except, one little thing, not really a big deal, but I still have no idea what a SecUnit is and that's getting more worrying the longer it continues.

[He may be a machine built for warfare, but he's probably less dangerous than a normal human, all things considered. To him, however, whatever a "SecUnit" is seems like it could well be the most dangerous thing in the convoy by far, given the vague but ominous terms in which one has thus far been described. Roger is terrified.]

[solitarysoul]

i think trained for or experienced in combat is the closest we're going to get here.

[Trained for handling hostile fauna? Like a hunter or something?]

[serialmurderbot]

Historically up to 47% of my job has been protecting clients from aggressive local wildlife.

[The other half has been protecting clients from each other, more or less, but that part is a bit more depressing. It's hoping (apocryphally) that this will not be something it has to worry about here.]

[solitarysoul]

what do you live where that's needed?

[In his experience most animals were shy of humans. Maybe if you went somewhere with cave wolves or something but he doesn't know why anyone would want to do that.]

[serialmurderbot]

Working alone isn't the same thing as solitude.

[As far as SecUnit's concerned, anyway - it's never worked with anyone, not in the way it thinks V means. Clients are different than teammates, but by now it's still on their team, somehow? It's confusing.

And beside the point.]

Anyway we're not alone here, so someone acting like it is being stupid and reckless.

[serialmurderbot]

"Hey you" is more confusing in high-stakes situations.

[Kind of joke kind of not, but it doesn't want people getting weird and trying to name it, either, so;]

You should just call me SecUnit.

[serialmurderbot]

I wouldn't want to.

[Not the point but it's still going to note that for posterity.]

If you know what aloe is then it's not an unfamiliar plant. If it's unidentified you don't know if it'll soothe burns or make your skin melt.

[serialmurderbot]

Sure. Exactly how many of those monsters did you kill the first night, and how?

[serialmurderbot]

What the fuck is todd scout training

[serialmurderbot]

It's me. I'm the SecUnit.

[Marginally more helpful than before, except it's still not giving Roger anyone else to look out for.

Though, now that it's thinking about it... It wants to get a visual on this potential combat bot.]

Designation and current location?

[taediosum]

Right. But how do we find that out, if we don't experiment?

I'm not suggesting we all go out and start eating or covering ourselves in every unfamiliar plant we find, but it seems a little shortsighted to rule out the local flora entirely.

[faceguy]

we learned wilderness stuff from a guy named todd

like how you should pitch your tent near water and how to start a fire
that kind of stuff

[thelastb1]

[That's about the most terrifying way this conversation could have possibly gone. Roger's response is instant and panicked.]

Why?