[TEXT]

[serialmurderbot]

NICE SUGGESTIONS TO NOT FUCKING DIE

[Thanks for the name suggestion Arcade; SecUnit clearly didn't take to heart any of the other parts about not being able to tell people what to do.]

1. Never leave the Convoy [Convoy defined as the main trailers plus the radius of the shield and additional vehicles, approximately 80 meters] alone. Survey and scavenging groups should consist of at least 2 members.

2. When leaving the Convoy always inform someone outside of your party of your intended itinerary and duration of travel.

3. Perform regular check-ins during the excursion [ideally every 15 minutes] via the radio.

4. Bring a method of defense that you have training and certification in. This should be used as a LAST RESORT, if unable to avoid aggressive wildlife. Call for backup before engaging.

5. In an emergency situation safety of survey personnel is priority one. Abandon all equipment if necessary. Yes, even if that means the aggressive fauna will destroy it. Or eat it.

6. Never operate a vehicle or weapon while any of the following: Intoxicated, sleep-deprived, distracted, experiencing physical illnesses such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, blood loss, etc.

7. Do not consume or touch unfamiliar plants or other food items without first confirming their safety for human ingestion. Licking counts as consuming.

8. Don't startle your SecUnit.

Comments

[serialmurderbot]

[No, I'm pretty sure I'm the only rogue SecUnit around and that the [company] didn't clone me or make copies of my memories and stick them in with some new neural tissue.

Existential crisis of existence aside;]

Not here. And before you ask, yes I would know, it would be really fucking obvious.

[hexrot]

I wasn't going to.

I'll leave that to someone who actually knows what a Secunit is.

[serialmurderbot]

Right.

[Ugh this is awkward. It doesn't want to tell anyone that SecUnits are dangerous, but...]

If any show up they'll be in armor with faceplates, and you should let me handle it.

[hexrot]

[ that sounds like something vaguely familiar to certain doll-things that make him tweak out uh ]

Sounds right.
And if you're not around?

[serialmurderbot]

That's what the radio's for.

[But it elaborates, because it should probably do something about the implication in there that it could just go around murdering people, if it's concerned about someone else just like it showing back up.

If the governor module is still active on one that gets snatched away like Secunit was, then this might be gruesomely not its problem, anyway.]

Could be a human in power armor, too, but that's probably not better.

[hexrot]

That's reassuring.

[serialmurderbot]

This place isn't the only one that's got dangerous shit. It's just not always monster shaped.

[hexrot]

No world is without its dangers. Or monsters.

[serialmurderbot]

Which kind is that hammer for?

[It didn't miss the way Jayce has grabbed for it, when startled.]

[hexrot]

[ reflex. the damned thing was a weapon— but what it truly existed in his hands for was for one thing. it stood for failure being renewed to chance. a way out. aid and honor, when jayce had understood and forfeited the rite to weaponize his dream. ]

The kind that still has a chance. [ a beat, and then he adds: ] It's an extension of a promise. That I'll do things differently.

[serialmurderbot]

[Okay so it knows that Jayce doesn't mean that literally. It still decides to be a shit about that.]

You promised to hit things with a hammer.

[hexrot]

[ do you take him for a fool? he's big brother extraordinare. he'll call you champ just to see you frown. ]

What else would I promise with a hammer that big?

[serialmurderbot]

[If he could see SecUnit's expression in response to that, he'd get everything he wants out of the big brother attitude. As is;]

Sounds inefficient, but what the hell do I know. I'm just a security consultant.

[hexrot]

[ good ]

I'll leave you to security and you'll leave me to hammering.