[TEXT]

[serialmurderbot]

NICE SUGGESTIONS TO NOT FUCKING DIE

[Thanks for the name suggestion Arcade; SecUnit clearly didn't take to heart any of the other parts about not being able to tell people what to do.]

1. Never leave the Convoy [Convoy defined as the main trailers plus the radius of the shield and additional vehicles, approximately 80 meters] alone. Survey and scavenging groups should consist of at least 2 members.

2. When leaving the Convoy always inform someone outside of your party of your intended itinerary and duration of travel.

3. Perform regular check-ins during the excursion [ideally every 15 minutes] via the radio.

4. Bring a method of defense that you have training and certification in. This should be used as a LAST RESORT, if unable to avoid aggressive wildlife. Call for backup before engaging.

5. In an emergency situation safety of survey personnel is priority one. Abandon all equipment if necessary. Yes, even if that means the aggressive fauna will destroy it. Or eat it.

6. Never operate a vehicle or weapon while any of the following: Intoxicated, sleep-deprived, distracted, experiencing physical illnesses such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, blood loss, etc.

7. Do not consume or touch unfamiliar plants or other food items without first confirming their safety for human ingestion. Licking counts as consuming.

8. Don't startle your SecUnit.

Comments

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[solitarysoul]

Groups leaving the Convoy should have at least one person with combat experience.

[This guy definitely knows that, but Levi feels it might need to be stated plainly. Civilians weren't always the brightest when it came to things like that.]

[serialmurderbot]

And that.

[Of course, it doesn't help that SecUnit counts Levi as part of the 'civilian' category - but everyone is, to it. It's just that some humans can be considered competent enough to help. (Maybe this is part of the problem, says a suspiciously ART-like voice in the back of its head. It tells that voice to shut up.)]

Depending what you count as combat experience.

[solitarysoul]

normally? military training and experience, but there are people here who said they fought monsters or whatever back where they came from. i know first hand civilians can learn to fight well if they have no other choice.

[Oh, but he guesses Marcoh knew how to fight but wasn't a soldier.]

or boxing experience, i guess.

[serialmurderbot]

Boxing doesn't count.

[What the hell is boxing? Never mind. More importantly;]

The whole point of the list is keeping civilians safe. They shouldn't be trying to fight, it'll just get them killed or eaten. Or both.

[solitarysoul]

i'd agree with you, except i saw a boxer using his moves to take out monster after monster.

you're right they shouldn't be trying to fight, though. its clear there are some of us here who know how so nobody else should need to.

[Hopefully. There were more combatants here than in Prehevil at least.]

[serialmurderbot]

[That sounds... dubious, but given who it's sure this is (the relatively young human with the gun and the insistence he didn't need medical attention) it's not surprising to see his insistence on fighting.]

Being trained for combat and being trained for handling hostile fauna or client retrieval in a high-stakes situation are different things.

[But, begrudgingly;]

But the first one isn't useless.

[solitarysoul]

i think trained for or experienced in combat is the closest we're going to get here.

[Trained for handling hostile fauna? Like a hunter or something?]

[serialmurderbot]

Historically up to 47% of my job has been protecting clients from aggressive local wildlife.

[The other half has been protecting clients from each other, more or less, but that part is a bit more depressing. It's hoping (apocryphally) that this will not be something it has to worry about here.]

[solitarysoul]

what do you live where that's needed?

[In his experience most animals were shy of humans. Maybe if you went somewhere with cave wolves or something but he doesn't know why anyone would want to do that.]

[serialmurderbot]

[Where do you live? Tricky question. SecUnit dodges that part by answering the more relevant thing.]

Planetary surveys that need a [SecUnit] Security consultant usually go places with higher percentages of environmental hazards.

[solitarysoul]

planetary....what?

[He doesn't even know that word. But his education was pretty lacking, so its not screaming this guy is from the future yet.]

[serialmurderbot]

[Okay, SecUnit can sympathize with education being crap - it's learned so much more from its shows than it ever did from its company-supplied modules, even accounting for the degree of artistic license most of them used with facts and history.]

If they send me to a planet it's because it probably has something there that could eat or kill people.

[solitarysoul]

wait. you go to other PLANETS?

[Was it a situation like this? But then it'd be "worlds," wouldn't it? That's what everyone used for this place and their homes.]

[serialmurderbot]

Seven planets, three mining installations, and five stations at minimum.

[Probably more of the planets at last count, but it's had a couple memory wipes that make that... hazy.]

[solitarysoul]

how is that even possible?

[serialmurderbot]

Wormhole drives and spaceships.

[Please don't ask it to explain the science Levi.]

[solitarysoul]

worm...what?

[Sorry, he too confused to not ask.]

[serialmurderbot]

It bends space so you move through it faster. Otherwise it would take more than most humans lifespan to get anywhere. You'd have to find a scientist to explain it better, I don't have any modules on how the fuck it works.

[solitarysoul]

[Levi stares at this message for a few minutes. Bends space? Taking longer than a life span? Modules? He doesn't understand any of that and its pretty clear its beyond him. So he files it away in his 'stuff I'm too stupid to understand/deal with' mental category.

After a moment he replies with something else.]

what's a secunit?

[serialmurderbot]

[Sorry, Levi, that's not the escape you might hope for. But it does turn up the sarcastic asshole a little bit, if only because Levi so obviously isn't going to know what the Corporation Rim (and all of space, really) thinks about dangerous rogue SecUnits.]

An artificial bot-organic construct that acts as a security consultant to make lists for potentially reckless humans.

[solitarysoul]

[Oh no more big words and words he doesn't know. But he's not going to ask what they are this time.]

and we have one here?

[Was it this guy? That'd make sense, but it hadn't seemed artificial when they interacted before. Though with all the new things here he's not sure he'd be sure what that was like.]

[serialmurderbot]

Yes. See rule 8.

[Okay, just a bit of sarcastic asshole mode.]

[solitarysoul]

but if i don't know what it is i can't do that.

[serialmurderbot]

[Okay point.]

Keep an eye out for the helmet and the All-terrain vehicle.

[solitarysoul]

[Ah, so it is this guy.]

okay. i'll try not to startle you.