[TEXT]

[serialmurderbot]

NICE SUGGESTIONS TO NOT FUCKING DIE

[Thanks for the name suggestion Arcade; SecUnit clearly didn't take to heart any of the other parts about not being able to tell people what to do.]

1. Never leave the Convoy [Convoy defined as the main trailers plus the radius of the shield and additional vehicles, approximately 80 meters] alone. Survey and scavenging groups should consist of at least 2 members.

2. When leaving the Convoy always inform someone outside of your party of your intended itinerary and duration of travel.

3. Perform regular check-ins during the excursion [ideally every 15 minutes] via the radio.

4. Bring a method of defense that you have training and certification in. This should be used as a LAST RESORT, if unable to avoid aggressive wildlife. Call for backup before engaging.

5. In an emergency situation safety of survey personnel is priority one. Abandon all equipment if necessary. Yes, even if that means the aggressive fauna will destroy it. Or eat it.

6. Never operate a vehicle or weapon while any of the following: Intoxicated, sleep-deprived, distracted, experiencing physical illnesses such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, blood loss, etc.

7. Do not consume or touch unfamiliar plants or other food items without first confirming their safety for human ingestion. Licking counts as consuming.

8. Don't startle your SecUnit.

Comments

[guidemyway]

[It doesn't take her too long to figure out which one is SecUnit. The whole moving toward her helps out a lot.

What she can't believe though is the shade It's throwing at her precious scythe.]

Wow. I'll have you know someone in my world once called it the most dangerous weapon ever designed.

And it's gotten me out of a ton of tough scrapes.

[The only reason it's practical for her is that her fighting style pretty much revolves around it, and is complimented by it.]

[serialmurderbot]

What fighting have you actually done, then.

[This is not a genuine question - it's expecting... well. It's not expecting much, because it's an asshole.]

[serialmurderbot]

[Huh. With the way they'd reacted to the discovery of that mark on the back of their neck, it had figured that V had pretty personal experience with that. It guesses watching it happen is still a kind of personal, but -

Whatever. It's not like being a brain-zapped governor-moduled SecUnit is fun. It's a good threat for compliance. ]

And after that?

[airskate]

[ Shadow's not really sure what he was expecting, but this is closer to it than he would have liked. SecUnit has lowered it's weapons, so Shadow finally relaxes as well. The red-orange energy finally stops crackling over his fur and he looks away from SecUnit entirely, turning to face Roger.

He doesn't look happy. ]

When you called me like that I thought you were actually in trouble.

[faceguy]

oooo want my resume huh?
weeeell

im a battle nexus champion too!
and I had like
a whole bunch of bad guys who were fighting with me and my bros all the time
one time we beat them all up using fish and ladders!

and ive been fighting lots of monsters around here
you can ask around

[constantvrunning]

[V has a guess as to what SecUnit means.]

I couldn't keep getting on with it all. It wasn't so much any new horror being introduced, as just... cumulative weight. Like a fracture giving way to a complete shift.

I ran, and found M-Bot on the way. It was somewhat damaged, but I was able to help it, and we were better able to escape together than alone.

[They sigh.]

We were far from the only ones to escape the Empire, let alone the first. A band of mercenaries acted as our escorts for part of the journey.

[Unwillingly, they pause, then push through.]

M-Bot flew away at one point. I followed, and... by the time we turned back, everyone else on that team had been slaughtered. The Empire thought they had gotten everyone of that group.

[Which meant the only thing left to do was to run more.]

[serialmurderbot]

[It's hard to see a reaction on SecUnit between the motorcycle helmet and the jacket, but the way it moves its head, just minutely, might just indicate that it looks ready to walk out. Or maybe slam its head against a door, just for fun. Great, this is just great.]

[Okay, so in retrospect: probably could have handled that better. On the other side of the equation, though - a fucking gun.]

You're a combat bot and you panicked. And called a - [Not a human, actually, it's not sure what Shadow is. And it really knows that asking would probably be rude.] A friend to handle it instead.

[serialmurderbot]

[The shade-throwing does not stop, as it holds out a hand in silent request for the weapon to be handed over.]

I believe the first part.

[It does, as far as SecUnit's concerned, look like potentially the most dangerous weapon for the wielder, outside of non-remote detonating explosives.]

[serialmurderbot]

[Yeah, it could ask Leo to elaborate on any number of those points. The one it chooses is:]

Fish.

[serialmurderbot]

[In the shows it likes, there's always a big, dramatic moment that causes a character to change sides, like being asked to shoot a loved one, or a child, or something. It's seen the ways people actually get broken. It... kind of had one itself, actually. But that wasn't enough to make it go really rogue. It just stayed anyway.

So it gets that.

And it gets the horror that sentiment evokes, too.]

... There was a mining corporation that kept indentured wage slaves on a colony - they had started to smuggle people out, but the Corporation tried to kidnap them back. They're like that.

[Which sounds kind of callous, so it attempts adding,]

It sucks.

[faceguy]

ever been hit by a swordfish?

[serialmurderbot]

Probably not. I don't know the designation of some of the fauna that have tried to eat me.

[faceguy]

me either! but apparently it hurts enough to send some bozo packing

[constantvrunning]

To put it mildly.

[Though words often didn't feel like enough to express such... evil, that people did.]

... They can't follow us here, though. I had found more people to stand up against the Empire with, there, as well as make our own lives, but can't contact them here either.

[guidemyway]

Well for sure. But I'm still standing here so the second should be obvious too.

[Ruby glances down at SecUnit's hand and blinks briefly.]

You know. You could say please if you want to take a look at it.

[serialmurderbot]

So your battle plan is to hit the fauna with other fauna. Good work.

[Sarcastic asshole points unlocked.]

[serialmurderbot]

They can't do shit if they don't have power, even if they do show up.

[Though, SecUnit has a vivid memory of a particular speech... Corporates, or V's Empire, can still do a lot of damage just from people giving them the benefit of the doubt. To what end... Humans have all sorts of motivations.

It'll have to keep being careful.]

... You trying to keep it secret?

[faceguy]

your saying it like that to drag me
but yeah!
if your caught without a weapon you gotta work with what you have
improv is one of the most important things he taught me

if all you know how to do is shoot a gun or stab with a sword your worthless once its out of your hands right?

[serialmurderbot]

[It's just going to let pointed silence speak for it on that first part. As for the second - ]

Please let me look at your incredibly impractical weapon, tiny human.

[sarcasm bot activated.]

[constantvrunning]

And if they did show up, they would be new here. We have an advantage of local knowledge, however slight.

[They consider SecUnit's words, trying to weigh the consequences either way.]

It won't specifically hurt me, to have others know. To make it a conversation I can initiate. But it is... emotionally... still a lot to explain.

[SecUnit is free to imagine an undertone of 'ugh, emotions', even though that's not quite how V feels about the matter.]

[serialmurderbot]

[SecUnit wonders at that - they can't exactly drive someone away from the Convoy. Or if they did, it wonders how the others would react.

... Maybe it should be starting to make contingency plans. It's had to do that for Corporate spies, but it hadn't considered the need to disappear someone.]

Yeah. Explaining is shit.

[And that's even just with those who might get it.]

[thelastb1]

I'm made for swarm tactics, not this! [That is to say that he's a very cheaply made "combat bot."] And I haven't really been a battle droid for ages!

I probably shouldn't have told you I ever was one. [In a world where no one's ever heard of the Clone Wars, he doubts anyone would know if he didn't tell them, but it's for that same reason that he thought it wouldn't matter.]

[Shadow's disappointment, though, is almost as crushing as the mortal terror that drove him to call him in the first place.] I... thought I was too.

[serialmurderbot]

[Easy, just never be without the weapon when you are the weapon.]

That's why it's better not to get into a fight under those circumstances. See NICE SUGGESTION 4.

[airskate]

[ Ugh.

Shadow crosses his arms in the wake of Roger's explanation. He's not actually trying to make Roger feel bad, but... yeah, he's frustrated. ]

If I had attacked without thinking I could have really hurt it—

[ Here, he gestures to SecUnit. ]

—or we could have ended up hurting someone else in the crossfire.

[ Shadow has a lot of confidence in his own power and skill, but SecUnit's arm guns and its apparent confidence with them isn't lost on him. He thinks 'big messy fight with lots of collateral damage' is a lot more likely than either of them getting the jump on the other. ]

... You can still call me for help. But if you say you 'started a fight', it sounds like you're already being attacked.

[constantvrunning]

[... There is one possibility.]

I recall there being significantly more people around the Convoy when we first arrived. Not everyone continued the journey.

[So there is some degree of 'people just disappear' going on, dark as the implication may be.]