[TEXT]

[serialmurderbot]

NICE SUGGESTIONS TO NOT FUCKING DIE

[Thanks for the name suggestion Arcade; SecUnit clearly didn't take to heart any of the other parts about not being able to tell people what to do.]

1. Never leave the Convoy [Convoy defined as the main trailers plus the radius of the shield and additional vehicles, approximately 80 meters] alone. Survey and scavenging groups should consist of at least 2 members.

2. When leaving the Convoy always inform someone outside of your party of your intended itinerary and duration of travel.

3. Perform regular check-ins during the excursion [ideally every 15 minutes] via the radio.

4. Bring a method of defense that you have training and certification in. This should be used as a LAST RESORT, if unable to avoid aggressive wildlife. Call for backup before engaging.

5. In an emergency situation safety of survey personnel is priority one. Abandon all equipment if necessary. Yes, even if that means the aggressive fauna will destroy it. Or eat it.

6. Never operate a vehicle or weapon while any of the following: Intoxicated, sleep-deprived, distracted, experiencing physical illnesses such as migraines, gastrointestinal symptoms, blood loss, etc.

7. Do not consume or touch unfamiliar plants or other food items without first confirming their safety for human ingestion. Licking counts as consuming.

8. Don't startle your SecUnit.

Comments

[solitarysoul]

[Oh no more big words and words he doesn't know. But he's not going to ask what they are this time.]

and we have one here?

[Was it this guy? That'd make sense, but it hadn't seemed artificial when they interacted before. Though with all the new things here he's not sure he'd be sure what that was like.]

[taediosum]

If I die, I won't have to worry about you chastising me, at least.

Still, I'd prefer not to. So, I'll... continue to try not to do that.

[serialmurderbot]

[Okay, yeah, that sounds familiar, it's not like every place in the world can be as nice to people as Preservation, with laws about how people get to handle land and things - but SecUnit is shaking its head. There's still an important point in there.]

But Synths are recognized as autonomous. Not manufactured for a function. Not 'autonomous but you've got an owner even if we call it something nicer.'

[It's never thought about anything like this. None of its media ever did, either. The closest its ever come is the occasional friendly bot, or the one historical about pre-construct machine-organic hybrids, but those were basically just human brains using mechanical bodies after they died.

It's not sure what it's performance reliability is doing, right now, but there's some reaction going on in its organic parts.]

[serialmurderbot]

Which kind is that hammer for?

[It didn't miss the way Jayce has grabbed for it, when startled.]

[hexrot]

[ reflex. the damned thing was a weapon— but what it truly existed in his hands for was for one thing. it stood for failure being renewed to chance. a way out. aid and honor, when jayce had understood and forfeited the rite to weaponize his dream. ]

The kind that still has a chance. [ a beat, and then he adds: ] It's an extension of a promise. That I'll do things differently.

[serialmurderbot]

Yes. See rule 8.

[Okay, just a bit of sarcastic asshole mode.]

[solitarysoul]

but if i don't know what it is i can't do that.

[serialmurderbot]

Keep it up.

[serialmurderbot]

[Okay so it knows that Jayce doesn't mean that literally. It still decides to be a shit about that.]

You promised to hit things with a hammer.

[taediosum]

Sure thing.

Glad we had this talk.

[constantvrunning]

As far as I've learned, Synth didn't exist before the Cataclysm - but any pre-Cataclysm power structures basically burned. Organics can't truly claim seniority, nor superiority.

[They were all in the same boat, as far as people in Tamaris reckoned it.]

... What drives the making of- of SecUnits, or similar, where you're from?

[V gets the feeling they won't like the answer, but it feels kind of weird being the one being asked questions. Still, they might be crossing a line, and so:]

You- don't have to answer that. I apologize.

[thelastb1]

[SecUnit's movement toward the blaster is startling and seems to signal to Roger that the situation has turned hostile.

Fortunately for Roger, the blaster is entirely useless to him anyway. Literally, it's an empty threat. So while the SecUnit's making its dash for the blaster, Roger slides the hammer back onto the floor behind the bar and grabs the experimental metal mouth weapon. He takes cover behind the bar, putting his back to it, gripping the weapon for dear life.]

I don't want to fight!

[All the while, Roger uses the antenna on his back to directly send a message to Shadow the Hedgehog's communicator, without any visible indication that he is doing so.]

SHADOW I ACCIDENTALLY STARTED A FIGHT WITH THE SECUNIT IN THE HUBCAP PLEASE HELP

[faceguy]

thx for your approval

but I also know how to fight so ill be fine

[serialmurderbot]

[Okay point.]

Keep an eye out for the helmet and the All-terrain vehicle.

[solitarysoul]

[Ah, so it is this guy.]

okay. i'll try not to startle you.

[hexrot]

[ do you take him for a fool? he's big brother extraordinare. he'll call you champ just to see you frown. ]

What else would I promise with a hammer that big?

[serialmurderbot]

[It just... stares at V for a second. The emotion it's having about this hasn't stopped. It's getting worse, actually. Okay, so what? There's somewhere out there where constructs - Synths, apparently - are just people. Not even the 'we know you're a person but Preservation law isn't as perfect as they like to act sometimes so you legally have an owner' thing it has going on.

It feels on the precipice of - something. Maybe it's a wave of I-don't-care. Maybe if it spends much more time thinking about this it's going to smash something.]

It's not like that. [Actually, time to keep asking V questions. Anything to not be talking about this any more.] What cataclysm.

[airskate]

[ The good thing about calling Shadow for help is that he won't waste time asking clarifying questions.

The bad thing about calling Shadow for help is that he won't ask clarifying questions even when he really should.

There's not response to Roger's message—not over the comms, at least. Instead a black and red blur rockets into the Hubcap, and then Shadow is sliding across the bartop. He lurches to a stop in between the two robots; he's not human, but it should be easy to read the aggression in his tense posture and the backwards tilt of his ears.

Fortunately, he does not immediately throw himself at SecUnit. He still glowers at it, though, and orange-red electric energy crackles over his quills. ]

[serialmurderbot]

You don't want to fight, so you brought a gun.

[SecUnit is in the process of checking the weapon over as it says this, grimly incredulous - either this isn't a combat bot at all, or this is the most overprepared combat bot it's ever met -

and the gun is dead.]

Are you fucking joking.

[Its voice reads flat, exasperated, as it keeps the gun in one hand - until it hears the sudden thud of approaching feet, way too fucking fast. It jerks back, bracing for some kind of impact because its performance reliability is so far shot by whatever malfunction is reducing its reflex speed.

When Shadow comes to a stop on the countertop, SecUnit has ducked back behind one of the tables, a good two meters off from the bar, the empty gun tossed somewhere behind it and one forearm raised, energy weapon not yet primed to fire.

Mostly because it's taking in the clearly non-human shape and trying to recalculate its odds.]

Drop the weapon.

[serialmurderbot]

Let me guess. Todd.

[serialmurderbot]

[If he could see SecUnit's expression in response to that, he'd get everything he wants out of the big brother attitude. As is;]

Sounds inefficient, but what the hell do I know. I'm just a security consultant.

[faceguy]

no

my dad

[wereperrito]

[It will probably regenerate! It just might take a long time and require protection from the elements while it does, that's all.]

Ok

[And he'll leave SecUnit be now. But he will, in the future, subtly make sure it is not bleeding all over the place every time he sees it.]

[thelastb1]

[It is a surprise and a relief to Roger that Shadow is able to get there so quickly, though he simply stays put with unspoken gratitude.]

It was supposed to keep you from trying to kill me as soon as you got here! And I'm still not sure you're not going to do that!

[The worry that led to him bringing it in the first place is only intensified now. So he just slumps further behind the cover of the bar, hands still ready on the weapon.]

[constantvrunning]

I have recounted what I know if it before, if you'd prefer a recording.

[Because V does record what they post to the Network.]

It is why I can't be sure humanity made it to space, from the Earth I know.

[Or, if they did, they never came back.]